The Frozen Planet and Other Stories (v1.0) by Unknown Author

Author:Unknown Author
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-03-19T00:00:00+00:00

“I haven’t been commoded at all,” Orison said. “No one showed me the way. Would you mind explaining this chivaree to me, Mr. Gerding?”

“I’d be delighted to explain, my dear,” Kraft Gerding said, bowing. “May I sit?” he asked, waving a hand toward her cot.

“You may fall on your dreadful face, for all I care,” Orison said.

“You must learn to speak like a queen,” Kraft said, seating himself on the cot beside her. “Otherwise, of course, you are perfect.”

“Of course,” Orison said. “I can’t say the same for you.”

“I grow on one,” Kraft said. “You wonder, no doubt, how the William Howard Taft National Bank and Trust Company became a battleground; why many of our employees have ears the color of day-old bruises; why Wanji was so exercised by the color of escudoes; and what the work is that the Microfabridae sing at. No?”

“Yes,” Orison said.

“May I smoke?” Kraft Gerding asked, bringing a cheroot from an inner pocket of his field marshal’s uniform.

“Smoke, glow, burst into flame. It’s all the same to me,” Orison said.

Kraft Gerding lit his cheroot with the air of an acolyte igniting incense. Then, puffing, “Accident,” he said, “has made you privy to a coup d’etat. Our Empire, you see, is based on porphyrogeniture. Thus my brother, Dink, is the Heir Apparent. I, his elder brother, conceived before our father became Emperor, am merely Margrave of the North, Prince Royal of the House of Dink, Colonel-General of the Forces of the Triple Crown, Grand Duke of the Zilf Archipelago and Holder of the Keys to the Royal City of Chilif.”

“How unassuming can you get?” Orison asked.

“Your un-knowledge is deeper than I bethought me,” Kraft Gerding’ said, smiling, scooting a little wester on the cot. Orison moved one hips-breadth further to the west.

“Very well,” Kraft said. “As a primer, thus: my brother Dink ger-Dink, heir through accident of tradition to the Triple Crown of Empire; I, his elder, better brother; and our officers and exiles—these latter common criminals, marked for men’s contempt with purple ears—constitute the XLIIth Subversion-and-Conquest Task Force of the Empire of Dink. This mighty Empire, for your information, lies some distance off in the southern skies of Earth.”

“How far off?” Orison asked.

“As far,” Kraft Gerding said, “as all your men since Adam have run in pursuit of beauty.” He scooted further west.

Orison made still further westering. “You come from some foreign planet?” she asked.

“No longer foreign, my dear,” Kraft said. “Our planet, our triple footstool, welcomes young Earth to share our ancient wisdom and relax under the shadow of our might.”

“And I, young Earth, tell you, Kraft Gerding, to go sail a saucer,” Orison said.

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